Your ignorance must be cleansed.

You people make me angry.

You are a giant, teeming mass of hopelessly ignorant oxygen sucks. At least if all of you were replaced with an equal bio-mass of tree lichen you would help combat global warming.

There is hope for you however. I am here, and I am going to explain to you, one at a time, all of the fundamental concepts that separate a Cub's fan from a fully functional human being.

Good luck, because if you people don't absorb this stuff fast enough, I'm going to start sending all of you letter bombs.